Copywriting Makeover: Subtle Changes Make A Difference
- Part 1
By Karon Thackston
Changing a few words in your copy can lead to double-digit
increases in conversions. If that sounds like a bunch of hype from an online
infomercial, stick around and I'll show you how it's done.
all that happened with Kneelsit.com, an Australian ergonomic computer chair
manufacturer. They had what would be considered a successful site with a
continual stream of orders. All the basic information was already included on
the home page, but the owner felt as though something was not quite "there" yet.
He wanted a fresh approach to the site's copy, so that's what he received. And
the results were simply amazing.
Kneelsit had great rankings for their key terms (normally #1 to #4 in popular
search engines) keeping those rankings high required some attention to the SEO
piece of the puzzle. Conversions, however, were not at their maximum. The
business was not suffering, but it did have room for improvement. So, after
receiving a sample chair to use during the process, I set (or should I say
"sat") out to work.
Once I assembled the chair and rolled it up to my
desk, I kept a notepad nearby so I could jot down benefits as I noticed them. In
just a few days' time, I had a long list of features and benefits to refer
As I read over the original home page copy (which can be seen here:
I noticed something else. Many of the benefits I had on my paper were referenced
(at least briefly) in the original copy. Some were phrased differently than I
would later phrase them, but most were there.
However, in this highly
competitive industry, I wanted to be sure to keep the uniqueness of the chair on
the forefront. Visitors needed to quickly see that the Kneelsit was superior to
other computer chairs available. The changing of some verbiage and providing
more details in some areas would help keep visitors reading and help them easily
distinguish this chair from others on their comparison list.
Once my list
of benefits was completed, I began relating these options to other kneeling
chairs and to users of ergonomic computer chairs. I wanted to see which benefits
on my list were unique in the marketplace. I also wanted to know about the users
of these chairs. After all, the buyer is the center of the process and should
also be the focus of the copy.
My research revealed some of the reasons
users would need an ergonomic chair and also the biggest complaints about some
of the current ergonomic designs. In addition, I discovered which benefits were
common to other ergonomic chairs and which were distinctive.
Armed with the research results, I started crafting the
copy to speak to that one person who was forced to sit at a computer all day, in
pain, and who desperately needed help. This person had tried several other
computer chairs before with little to no results and was getting skeptical about
finding a solution.
I looked back over my list of benefits in search of
the ones that would not be found in the competition's copy. I focused on one
exclusive, patented feature (the axle design) and the fact that the chair was
customizable for every body type.
I laid out a plan for the new copy
including keyword selection, keyword placement, benefits and key points to be
Similar in many ways to the original copy, the new version had
some subtle, but powerful, changes. The goal of the new copy was to show the
true distinction of these chairs by highlighting the most impressive
I would also focus on incorporating keyphrases in headlines and
sub-heads (where it made sense to do so) and throughout the copy. I had to pay
careful attention to making the copy sound natural, as I never want the SEO
factors to overshadow the message of the page.
2 of this series,
we'll take a look at what went into the rewrite as well as what type of results
were achieved with the new copy.
About the Author:
|Copy not getting
results? Learn to write SEO copy that impresses the engines and your visitors
Be sure to also check out
Karon's latest e-report "How To Increase Keyword Saturation (Without Destroying
the Flow of Your Copy)" - click on the link above, click on one of the "order"
links, and the link to this e-report is on that page.